Valdemaras' Thoughts

Every person desires to be appreciated or, in other words, to be worthy of esteem and respect. Paradoxically, the feeling of self-esteem mostly depends on other people's opinions. To put it briefly, person's self-esteem is damaged when they are criticized and their achievements are depreciated. People feel more appreciated when their achievements or traits are praised.

It is very interesting and sometimes also very useful to observe how people react to criticism or praising. In my limited experience I noticed that people who have a lack of self-esteem tend to lean to the following two states of mind. Wether they start talking down others and become extremely categorical in their opinion or, on the contrary, loose their self-confidence.

I have had an opportunity to observe the first case much more often than the second. So, if some friend or acquaintance is talking you down for some trifle, or someone is assuring you too often that he is right and you are wrong, then you have all the reasons to suspect that a person just wants to gain more confidence in his merit and increase his feeling of self-esteem this way.

In these cases, I think, it is important not to start fighting back, and proving who is wrong, which would leave the person feeling even more depreciated and also angry on you. In my opinion, the wisest would be to understand that the argument is not about the trifle you're arguing about, it is about someone trying to become appreciated. Sometimes it's enough to show some appreciation to solve all the problems.